When the truth comes out, you find out who your real friends are.
A lot has taken place in the past few days. If you’re on my MySpace, you are aware that about a week ago I posted an honesty blog titled, “What do I REALLY think of you?” All it asks for is for someone to leave their name, and I reply with what I truly think of them. If you know me at all, you know that on the Internet or not, I’m never afraid to hold back my honest opinions. I tend to be so opinionated that it becomes obnoxious and often intimidates people, but this is the way I am. A person that I’ve known for six years this September leaves their name, so I reply with nothing more than my true and honest feelings. I start off well, tell them the negatives in the middle, and leave with more compliments. The negative focused on the fact that they put religion into everything they do over the Internet and sometimes in person. As an Atheist, my mother quotes me as the “anti-religion,” it bothers and annoys me. I also debate religion with this person quite often, so you’d also infer that they would see this coming.
So, what was their initial reaction? Lets leave a semi-nice (hence the difference between kind and nice) comment on my blog, but send me a very nasty message afterwords. They told me that they want to be my friend, but after I reply (which they should have seen coming), they immediately push me away and tell me that they don’t want to be my friend anymore and to leave them alone because I choose not to say what all of their other friends do and occasionally debate religion with them.
I’ve never been more disgusted in my life. I know that the truth hurts, but I never expected someone I’ve known of six years to react like this. I know I’ve gotten myself into sticky situations in the past that I allow myself to admit and openly discuss, but I figure that people are past these types of things. Someone supposedly so strong and mature would not react like this. Someone who calls themselves a good friend would never react like this. My feelings were hurt, and that’s a rare thing to happen because I never get upset over online text. I will leave this person alone because they proved themselves to me. They proved that they are not good enough to be considered one of my friends. Yes, I’ll still be kind to them when I see them in the hallways, but that’s because I’m a kind person.
I seen the good in such an awful situation like this, though: I need to find myself true and better people I can call friends. I know I was selective and picky before, but this incident made my situation even worse. I don’t ask for much in people. I ask for only a couple qualities: a good taste in music, humor, the honesty of a child (blunt honesty), maturity, kindness (not niceness), adventurous, uniqueness—just a general outstanding personality. I give these qualities to others, which is why I expect them to be given back to me. To be honest, I’m not sure if I want religious friends. I don’t want all Atheist or Agnostic friends, but I can’t handle extremists. I don’t get along with religious extremists. I’m far too liberal and gay-friendly to get along with these types of people, which is why there is so much argument and debate.
I will admit that I do have some of the best friends in the world. Katie, Caitlin and Maciej to name a few. I know that since I’m going into a new school for my senior year, I’m going to meet a lot of other genuine people there that I’ll call friends, too. I’m pumped for this year—I really am.
I’m sure that some people judged me after reading this. A lot of you probably think I’m terrible for writing this. A lot of you probably respect me more. I don’t really care. You have your opinion of me, and I have mine of you.
I know who this is all about. I think the thing is, you both are taking this whole thing to a level it is not supposed to be.
But before I get into that, I just want to give some background as to why she is so religous.The past two years for her have been hell. Her father almost died. Her mother did some things that took it’s toll on her, a lot of things happened to her. Her only outlet was church. When she was at home she was empty, when she went to church she was around caring and loving people. Church is what saved her because if she did not go to church she would not be the same person you met six years ago.
She talks about god because in her mind, he saved her. Whether you believe or not, the fact that she made it through in one piece can only be thanked by friends and her belief in god. From what I’ve seen, she doesn’t want to shove it down ANYONE’s throat. In her mind, she just wants people to see something she is passionate about. It is the same thing when you fight for gay rights. You are truly passionate about it and that is how she is with god. I don’t think she ever intentionally tried to force it on you, that is just one thing in her life she feels that she should announce. WHy should she be ashamed of it? Are you ashamed that you believe in gay rights? Are you ever going to stop talkinbg about it because maybe it might offend someone? No. Because you are strong willed and you will never quit on that, that is how she is with god.
You know I’m an atheist. I’ve talked to you and several other people about this. She, in my opinion, is what Christians should be. She doesn’t judge, or lie, or tell hypocrisies. She doesn’t lie or condemn people for their beliefs.
Melissa, I am in no way trying to argue or start anything. I just want you to understand this. If you want, we can contiue this through a myspace message. There is just so much you don’t know about that would probably change the way you think about things. Even if you didn’t I just feel like it would make a difference if you did.
I didn’t lose or gain any respect for you. I will always have a lot of respect for you.
Thanks for your reply. I know why she’s religious, and that wasn’t the point in the note. The point of this note was the fact that I need new, more genuine, better friends, and she was only an example as to why. She told me to leave her alone, so I’m going to. We were never really “close” to begin with in the past couple of years anyway.
In her message, she told me that her religion wasn’t to be “discussed,” and later corrected, debated on. If she doesn’t want me to debate her, then she shouldn’t be putting her religion into what she writes on the computer. When you choose to write a blog, or a Facebook “note,” you know you’re taking the chance of allowing people to say whatever they want whether they agree, disagree, etc. If she didn’t want it to be “discussed” or debated, she wouldn’t be putting it out to the public. If she wanted to talk about anything related to God positively, she would go to church, and that’s what I replied to her with before she told me to “leave her alone.”
Wow, I feel like I missed a lot throughout a day of blogging! Since I feel like I have to say something because I’m dear friends to both you and the person mentioned, I just want to say a few things. I don’t think any lower of you, and I never could. But since you’re both my best friends, I want BOTH of you to know I can’t choose sides. It would kill me. I know you or her aren’t asking this of me and that it wasn’t even mentioned, but I want that to be cleared in case anyone else reading this thinks otherwise. I understand if you two cannot continue to speak to each other. My only hope is that you both understand where I’m coming from, but I know you guys will, as you understand so much about me that others may not.
I would feel like I’m betraying the trust of two friends I never want to lose by closely participating in any future disagreements.
