Just a general update, I suppose
Tonight I’ve been feeling really nervous and anxious for some reason. Usually I have an explaination behind having a clenched stomach, being unable to focus on one thing for more than five minutes, and sometimes even the pacing. But tonight I have no good reason to supply at all. I tried listening to my iPod, but I change the song twenty seconds in. I tried reading, but I’ve been switching books and skimming the pages. I tried watching “The George Lopez Show,” but I ended up turning off the T.V. three minutes in. I thought it could be because my sister is heading off to band camp bright and early tomorrow morning and I had sympathy nerves, but I dismissed that ten seconds later. It doesn’t really intertwine with my life besides the fact that the house will feel slightly dull and quiet. It doesn’t really help my family is being rather chaotic right now. My brother flushed blocks down the toilet, so my dad wants to rip the toilet off and fix it, but my mom keeps screaming at him because he isn’t strong enough to do it. I think he won though, I just heard a loud clanging noise coming from upstairs. That, or my brother threw something heavy and expensive again. I’m not trying to make my house sound like a nuthouse of course, but I definitely don’t get bored around here. That’s for sure.
I still can’t believe it’s already August. It hasn’t felt like summer weather in the least. I’ll bet that it will start warming up again right when we go back to school, just because that’s Michigan.
The winters so cold, summers over too soon.
I have something to do pretty much everyday this week, which normally would have made me feel happy, but for some reason today it makes me feel trapped. I want to sit at home for a day at least and just do nothing, or at the very least work on my writing. I feel like I haven’t been able to write anything worth reading (short story and poetry wise) in a long time. I read the latest issue of Seventeen magazine the other night, and it featured a short story this girl wrote that won some contest and got published in the magazine. The whole time I was reading it I kept thinking, “I don’t think anything I’ve written could even match up to this, and at the very least, the plot would need tweaking.” I know I’m hard on myself sometimes, but half of the problem is laziness. I haven’t even started my AP Psych homework yet. I take one glance at the book two times a week (three if I’m lucky) and feel all motivation just disappear. Evaporate into thin air. I’ll get around to it eventually, just not right now.
